Complex Conversations

Much refugee work involves being a resource to the community as they develop capacity for creating and resourcing change. Yes, they own their community, the process, and the outcome. Yes, you still have something to offer as they negotiate complex conversations about change and community action. Your facilitating, contributing, modelling, reflecting, questioning may  be the "grease on the wheels" needed to coordinate and channel change. Some tips follow:

Safety and equality. Don't assume this is felt. For one reason or another, people may feel less equal or less safe. Explicitly state it's ok to share different ideas to the group. Recognise the different types of expertise present. Establish shared expectations about listening and what should happen if the listening breaks down.

Invite people in and reward participation. Entice conversation with probing questions. What concerns you about this? What excites you about this? What is the best outcome you can imagine? Can you tell us more about that? What led you to that idea?

Be bold. Challenge mental barriers about what is possible. If we knew we'd succeed, what would we do? How could it work? What would it look like? Who has something to offer? Get unstuck by differentiating between fact, assumption, outdated knowledge and belief. What are we assuming here? How do we know that's still true now?

Go deeper. Demonstrate how it's ok for the group to challenge and probe each others ideas without compromising humble, respectful listening. What is underlying this problem? Yes, that's a barrier, what can we do despite that? What could be some long term consequences or unintended consequences of that solution? Can anyone see gaps in my reasoning or solution?

Keep checking agreement and action. Sprinkle check points throughout meeting. Are we understanding right here? What do we agree on so far? Where do we disagree? Where are we ambivilent? When will we do this? What's the next step?

Keep it real. Give advance permission for any group member to point out when the dialogue has deteriorated to talking in circles. Are we busy defending our different points of view and coming to no action points?